It all started when Marek Hnoj (78 years old) discovered that the 122 inhabitants of Kostliveho street paid proportionally more taxes in 2015 and 2016 than comparable streets in Bratislava.
‘I was outraged at first. We pay more taxes, but at the same time we see less and less investments in this neighbourhood. There’s a new building block under construction, but if we would have our own government, it would have been finished ages ago.’
The inhabitants of Kostliveho would also prefer to have their own military.
‘Especially with the explosive situation in Ukraine so close to our borders we want to be in control of our own defense.’
Marek Hnoj did his military service in the then Czechoslovak armed forces back in 1961 and says he knows how to build an effective army. Given the relatively small population of the wannabe republic military service will be compulsory for both men and women between the ages of 7 and 77.
There are also linguistic differences at the heart of this matter.
‘We pronounce the word blbost’ totally differently than people from other streets. We say something like blbwost’, you can hardly hear the w, but it’s there, and it’s time we honor our traditions and cultural differences through our own ministry of Culture.’
The breakaway street wants to be a member of NATO and The European Union.
The wannabe Republic of Kostlivia will have its own media, including television and a national newspaper, called Nova BlbWost’ (which translates as the new stupidity).
More Bratislava streets have noticed the Kostlivia initiative and it’s expected more streets will want to form their own Republics.
We asked the Prime Minister of Slovakia, mr. Robert Fico if he’s concerned about the potential disintegration of the country.
‘Many of these new nations will become tax havens and I’m looking forward to do business with them’, he is reported as saying.
We asked Marek Hnoj if the Republic of Kostlivia will face any challenges.
‘I guess we will have to build a border fence to keep those who want to profit from our prosperity out, but we intend to make neighbouring streets pay for it.’
121 inhabitants of Kostliveho will organize a symbolic funeral next Sunday, October 8. They will ritually bury ‘European Unity and Solidarity’, as these values ‘have done nothing for us’.
Lydia Bohata, the richest inhabitant of Kostlivia, will not attend. She has unilaterally decided to secede from the new Republic, as she is economically far better off than the rest of the street. She will form a Republic of her own, also with its own army, as she has a vicious Yorkshire dog called Luna.