Here in Slovakia it’s not uncommon for women to walk around dressed like porn stars. Most of them classy porn stars, I might add.

Some go around in boots that go all the way above the knee, in a skirt, that leaves a bit of thigh to be seen.

boots.jpg

They are all slender, have good posture, usually have long wavy hair.

They usually don’t have big breasts, but I don’t give a fuck about breast-size, am a thigh man.

And these Eastern-European women have long cat walk legs, almost all the way up to their armpits.

It’s quite a breath-taking sight at times. One of my students rushed into my classroom the other day and described one of these ladies who -based on what he said- was wearing something bikini-like. He was clearly knocked out of balance. His classmates asked: ‘And did you shit all over yourself when you bumped into her?’

Some of these ladies shake their hips on purpose like nobody in my native country would do, unless as a joke.

My wife knows my type and points them out to me. She’s not always correct, but she kinda gets the sort of women I’m attracted to.

‘Nobody walks like that in a natural way, she’s shaking her hips on purpose.’

Zuzi tries to walk like that when we’re home, behind closed doors. She can’t stop herself from laughing.

‘Nope’, she says, ‘this feels very uncomfortable, if a woman walks like this, she’s doing it on purpose’.

Some Slovenky (= Slovak women) will protest, but over here a man’s relationship value is still more or less equal to what’s in his bank account. So the women go out of their way to compete with all the other hot women to catch the biggest fish.

boots over knees

It’s a self-defeating game, because in the end those few guys who make a lot of money around here have the pick of the litter and they have always an even hotter and -especially that- younger girl waiting for them round the corner.

At some point, when they get too old, they can’t play the game anymore, and they either have to settle for an average guy with an average paycheck or stay alone. That’s why you can see quite good-looking women with sort of mute, beer guzzling, non-communicative men.

Some women will give you the cliché bullshit that they dress this way purely to make themselves feel good.

Give me a break.

If they were on a deserted island they would never torture themselves with these high-heeled boots.

And they all look overly self-conscious when they’re are all dolled up. They dress for effect, to get looks. Men stare, and that’s what they want.

Some say: ‘It’s not my fault guys get horny.’

It’s easy to push away responsibility without even blinking.

I’m not sure if these women would still dress so provocatively if they knew what it did to men.

Here in Bratislava I often go and stand in the back of a tram. When one of those porn stars on a filming break (a joke, they are not real porn stars) gets on I find it equally amusing equally painful to watch the reactions of the men. They look at the girl and you can just see the hunger, the pain, the fear and the frustration in their eyes. I know, because that’s usually the same way I’m looking. Annoyed, because there’s a myriad of reasons why it’s better not to do anything with the attraction I naturally and automatically and unwillingly feel at that moment.

The truth is that your whole body becomes one throbbing impulse to fuck that girl’s brains out. But you can’t, that’s the agonizing reality.

And then I’m not even talking about all the billboards advertising stuff with a woman in suggestive sexual pose next to the product.

Those are so artificial that they don’t have any direct effect on me, but subconciously they do.

We live in a ‘look but don’t touch society’

We see women stride around like they are sex goddesses, averting looks, eyes fixed on the ground, looking like they are too good for this world, and we stand there with unruly semen boiling in our pants. It’s torture.

Of course, we could just give it a shot, walk over, strike up a conversation and ask for a date.

But sometimes, not always, what we really want is to just fuck her, without the almost inevitable six hours of conversation before she’ll be up for it, if all goes well.

It’s damn time-consuming.

Often not very practical either. You need a place to do it. Here in Bratislava women usually don’t have enough money to be able to afford a place of their own, so it gets kinda tricky to go over to their place and have sex there. There’s always a roommate around to spoil the fun. You can take her to your place, of course, if that’s an option. Or if you want the hormonal boogy-woogy to not only cost you time, but also money, you can consider a hotel. But boy, fucking in a hotel, is like throwing an intimate dinner party for your closest friends and relatives on the cold floor of a busy shopping mall. It kinda kills the mood.

And if you’re a self-respecting, women respecting guy you can’t turn to prostitution either, because first of all, there’s absolutely no fun in having sex with someone who doesn’t want anything from you except your money. Most prostitutes won’t let you finger them and most won’t kiss on the lips or let you go down on them. Those are the rules, so you can count me out immediately, not my show, thank you very much. It’s a very one-sided, dreadful affair. According to studies men feel worse after visiting a prostitute. It’s demeaning for both sexes. Second of all is that prostitution is ‘the commercialisation of sexual assault’, as Rachel Moran puts it, and to rape someone, whether you’re paying for it or not, is disgusting in the extreme.

If you’re lucky you can go home and fuck your wife’s brains out. Which helps, but, if you’re totally honest, it’s not exactly what you really want. Not every day anyway. And when you admit that, you’re a creep. Oh, and you don’t love your wife. Impossible.

I believe a lot of men in our society come to feel like creeps, like men who are bitterly ashamed of their own horniness and desires. Sexual images and women who emphasize their sexuality (supposedly just for their own little bit of fun) are everywhere, but guys who openly admit to wanting to have sex are frowned upon, to put it mildly. We should either ignore all those images or be magically, stoically unfazed by them.

Making it illegal for women to dress like this, is also not a solution. Completely morally wrong. Women have the right to dress however they want. It would be nice however if they admitted that they know what kind of an effect it has on men, but they do have the right to dress however they want, and however they dress, is NEVER a free pass to sexually assault them.

So what are men supposed to do? Look the other way? Try and seduce them (and paying the price for that, in time, energy, money and necessary work and study time to master the art of seduction?) or -the option the majority of men choose- jerk yourself numb every day watching porn. That kind of movie genre that demeans the viewer, and is -quite likely- an other form of the commercialisation of sexual assault. Politely ask women not to dress so provocatively anymore? Personally am allergic to anything that curtails someone’s freedom as long as it doesn’t harm anyone. To what extent do very provocatively dressed women harm men? The question alone will be seen as misogynist in nature by some.

Can we find something POSITIVE, something BETTER than sex, so preferably not a heroin addiction, to not be assaulted by desires so very, bloody often?

I haven’t found that yet, have you?

As long as you can’t find peace with your sexuality, you’re in deep trouble, you suffer, and I have the impression that our culture isn’t making it easy to deal with our sexuality in a truly satisfying way for both sexes.