Have been reading more about what it could be that makes me so needy, and chronically looking for approval. This attitude is counterproductive and leaves me empty and, yes, yes, suicidal. (By this point some of you are wondering: when is he finally going to off himself?)
And, perhaps not in contrast to this sort of literature, I have been reading and watching more videos about the Zeitgeist movement, which basically explains how our economic system screws up our values and makes us compete and waste our talents chasing after whatever pays the bills. Not the most cheerful stuff you could be reading about, but it’s extremely to the point.
I am shocked and very dissapointed that our media never present us with this analysis. The occupy movement sort of tried, but quickly lost momentum. The message of the Zeitgeist movement connects the dots, it doesn’t just point to the symptoms as the mainstream media does daily, but explains WHY things are the way they are.
If you follow the news today, you can only be horrified and scream at the top of your lungs that the world has entirely lost its mind with seemingly random catastrophes happening all over the place. All this shit has its origins in our screwed up economic system which sets us up for a world dominated by a flimsy superrich elite, while the rest of us feel powerless, especially if we don’t have the means to distract ourselves with all sorts of pointless hedonistic activities. (A few of my happier friends come to mind here)
Back to my egocentric reporting on me, me, meeeeee!
In an effort to curb my needy behavior I have deleted the Twitter app on my ipad and it feels like a soul cleansing act. I’ll still tweet about new posts I add here, as half of the hits on my blog come by way of Twitter. From places such as Lebanon and Spain, for some reason.
I’m writing these posts more and more for me, to understand things better, as if I’m talking out loud with nobody around. This is a nice evolution and perhaps the first sign that I’m getting less invested in what the world thinks of me, how many likes I get or hits, etc. If I put this on Twitter it’s because I’d like some feedback once in a while.
Anyway, this year of self improvement will only be a success if I can get rid of my chronic neediness. I think the best way to do that is by avoiding social media as much as possible and spending as much of my time as possible doing useful stuff, preferably stuff that in some small way make this world a better place. I’m very sure spending time on Twitter does NOT fall into that category.