1. Don’t write
  2. Do NOT write
  3. Dress in black
  4. Make your hair look like you’ve just dragged yourself out of bed (the hardest step)
  5. Go to culturally flavoured parties
  6. Present yourself as a writer
  7. Talk about bullshit with an editor until he/she says it’s interesting bullshit
  8. Say you’re writing a book about that bullshit
  9. Go home to punch out the bullshit and send it to the editor, remind him/her of your meeting
  10. You’re succesful writer