On the 21st of July I write a blog post about the battle of Bull Run which took place on the 21st of July. My blog is this failed writing project I keep investing energy into even though it gets me none of ‘the good stuff’. I can be very stubborn. Stubborn to the point of being dumb. Obtuse. Obtuse is a good word. You like words, so let me change dumb into the more juicier sounding ‘obtuse’. I write that blog post. A few of my friends read it and actually ask me questions about it when we meet. You know am a huge Civil War buff. As much of a Civil War buff one can be over here in Europe, you know, with no possibilties to visit battlefield sites or museums or archives. Sometimes I think I never moved to the US, cause I’d be scared I would end up living in a Civil War archive and my nerdiness would become my most dominant feature and I would die penniless in a small room overlooking the James River in Richmond and I would die of some easily treatable desease, but I messed up my health insurance and this is the US and something relatively simple can just kill you. So I cough up blood lying on some wooden floor surrounded by nothing but Civil War books and haunted by your face, my son’s face, my father’s face and maybe Zuzi’s face, since we do have a child together.