Germany: ‘We are not your grandfather’s nazis anymore. Israel is doing the dirty work, ‘Drecksarbeit’, for us. Israelis are supreme saints (SS)’

Slovakia: ‘From time to time we translate an American pro-Israeli opinion piece. And the Slovak nation is now so totally on the right side of history. Right? Right??? To be honest we don’t know what the fuck is going on and we don’t actually care, as long as nobody remembers we sided with Hitler in the war.’

Austria: ‘Whatever Germany says we also say, but not as loud, so we can backpedal in case the official narrative flips’

France: ‘We have a lot of brown people too, so if we don’t want them burning cars we better say Israel is a bit naughty.’ UK: ‘We have a lot of brown people and by siding with Israel we show them what’s in store for them if they step out of line.’

Ireland: ‘Word on the street is that it’s potentially bad for business to be too pro Israeli’

Spain: ‘We didn’t take such an active part in Holocaust 1.0, so we can report on Holocaust 2.0, guilt free. And nobody remembers when we kicked out the Jews in 1492, we’re free to call a spade a spade.’

Belgium: ‘Sometimes we condemn Israel via some edgy, opinion piece we can distance ourselves of later and sometimes we don’t and then everyone is happy. Half assing things has worked for us since 1830.’

The Netherlands: ‘Let’s not get emotional here, the jews also have the right to be scumbags, just like everyone else.’