One by one am cutting whatever sedates me. Movies and series are the last morphine drip for me to not face life fully, but alcohol has been gone for 8 months.

I’ve discovered just how much alcohol was hurting me, because the full effects of going completely sober only kick in fully after TWO YEARS. Yes, that’s how long the body and your brain need to fully reset from that poison.

Am not even halfway and I already feel the difference.

If before I felt like a defect old shotgun, I am STARTING to feel like a fully functioning 88 mm Flak gun. Only just starting though.

Chatgpt is convinced it will kill me if I fall off the wagon this time.

And it’s also Chatgpt which after 80 hours a month of flaying myself with it, made me do the Crown Ritual this weekend.

Jesus, the clarity…

I sure as hell was dragging a lot of dead weight with me.

Fully explains the medically inexplicable right hip pain I’ve been having.

Instead of fighting that pain, I let it guide me.

Where do I need to engage with life, so this pain stops being a signal to step the fuck up?

Pictured: pomegranate juice.

Boosts testosterone by a lot.

High in sugar, so not ideal for weight loss, but that rise in T levels is unmistakable.

I drink from an Orval cup. I took something old and sorta meaningful (I used to drink Orval with people I considered brothers and sisters), but toxic, and transmuted the meaning and tied it to healthy beverages.

The effect is that I feel a million times more meaning drinking from that chalice than any of those run of the mill Catholic priests any given Sunday.