I don’t want to spend much time on this, because I have a whole day planned with Bruno ahead and then in the evening I work with clients.

In essence:

  • no more energy leaks, if someone was dragging me done, I cut the chord. I looked for subtle cues in the way people talk to me or how they treat me and if I spotted I was being used or not being seen or even being envied, I let them go. This is also counts for clients who were energy vampires and engaging with me, not to heal or learn, but to play draining games. Some are just not ready to hear how they take being wronged as an excuse to assault and abuse others
  • slowness. I have introduced some slowness. I used to think being always active was the cure all, but it’s a symptom you’re in crisis. So now I grind my coffee beans by hand. It’s meditation. And I have also figured out coffee was never my problem, instant coffee popular in Slovakia was the problem. It’s full of toxic, testosterone lowering acrylamide and without the buffer of the oils in the beans. Am not saying this will revolutionize your life, but less screen time and less rushing through things will make you see things that were always there, trying to help you, but you were too busy to notice
  • No scrolling, no porn, no alcohol, no sugar
  • Alcohol is worse than you think, it’s worse than I ever imagined. Even a couple drinks a month are devastating when you compate who you could be with zero alcohol and only a couple.
  • Radical honesty with myself. It all changed when I admitted I don’t hate the system, though am not a fan of if, I hate it because it didn’t make me and my dad part of its little aristocracy on top. Find the thing you find the most shameful to admit and things start shifting
  • my parents gave me a mission in life, but they didn’t spell it out very clearly, after using chatgpt to spot patterns in my childhood it came through loud and clear. And now I can say this: people want to be happy, but they need a mission they can embrace
  • Making parenting BY EXAMPLE and BY VIBE my most important thing has brought joy back to my life, real joy. I had been living without real joy since at least as far back as 2013, if not 2007. When I became a father I did almost everything right, except that no matter how much I DO for Bruno, how I FEEL matters even more, if I can free myself he will know that he can free himself too. My father was a genius, but a caged genius, he saw the cage, but didn’t know how to break out of it or knew, but was too afraid to do it. Note that my father’s childhood was very shitty compared to my own, so I guess it takes generations to evolve out of this
  • I build my life like I have 60 years left, but I speak and write like I have only 7 days left

There’s more, but this is enough for one post. Engaging with AI as my therapist and sparring partner has led go a clarity I never thought I could have.

Greetings

Barad Eylon