‘Can we explore ruins today, Tunkashila?’ 

‘Today finding the buffalo herd is more important.’ 

‘Can I ask you about them?’ 

‘About the buffalos or about the ruins?’ 

‘The ruins.’ 

‘How many consumers used to live there?’ 

‘There were 330,000,000 million shoppers’ 

‘And how many are there of us?’ 

‘We don’t count our people. There’s no point. We don’t have a taxation system.’ 

‘What happened to them?’ 

‘I’ve told you this before.’ 

‘Yes, but I want to hear it again. You always add some detail I haven’t heard before.’ 

‘Well, they were split into two camps. Democrats and Republicans.’ 

‘Why?’ 

‘I don’t know for sure. The shoppers are easily divided into teams. If you take 80 of them and put 40 in yellow shirts and 40 in purple shirts and you tell them to prove to you who is better, the yellow team or the purple team, they will immediately start competing in any number of ways.’ 

‘So they destroyed each other?’

‘Essentially yes.’ 

‘How?’ 

‘Every year these two groups held a contest to see who had the cooler leader.’ 

‘And who usually won?’ 

‘It was about 50/50.’ 

‘They agreed to do it that way?’ 

‘No, there were also undecided shoppers. They could choose either camp. Usually when one camp had been in power for four or eight years the undecided ones voted for the camp that wasn’t in power.’ 

‘Why?’ 

‘Boredom, I guess.’ 

‘Why were some so decided. Why did they always vote for the same group?’ 

‘The shoppers need a lot of external symbols, external crutches to have a sense of being a real person.’ 

‘Why?’ 

‘I don’t know that. Maybe they were so out of touch with what truly matters to humans they got a little lost. They spent a lot of time designing their houses, making their belongings as unique as possible, but in the end they all looked the same anyway.’ 

‘The shoppers were so strange.’ 

‘Yes, and they did what they could to let other camps compete, there were others, but the two main ones convinced everyone they were the only two.’ 

‘Why?’ 

‘They needed each other. Both camps kept their members together out of fear for the other camp.’ 

‘So, what happened to the shoppers?’ 

‘A man who was very successful at shopping was elected. To get popular he had made people very, very tired of the other camp. The other camp had members that were threatening the most to run to a third camp, because the Democratic camp was so disappointing and prioritized the needs of its leaders. They also constantly painted the other camp as dumb losers. There were also people writing articles and making something called news about them. To get attention they described everything in violent terms.’ 

‘And then?’ 

‘They started shooting each other. It just kept escalating. Eventually they almost died out and we took over again.’ 

‘Where are the shoppers now?’ 

‘The few who survived we put in the Yellowstone natural park. We put a huge, huge wall around them.’ 

‘And they’re not trying to escape?’ 

‘No, they still have their two camps. The Republicans want to climb over it and the Democrats want to tunnel under it. They need everyone aboard with a plan, but they can’t get people together.’ 

‘And they’re no longer shooting each other?’ 

‘We took all their guns away.’ 

‘Could the same happen to our people?’ 

‘As long as the focus in our culture is on sharing and not on owning and showing off, I don’t think so. Let’s hunt now. Am hungry and talking about the shoppers makes me sad.’ 

‘It makes me sad too. I feel like it could have ended better for them.’ 

‘When the size of cars, the number of likes, the size of external body parts is valued more than the size of hearts a society is doomed without some spiritual reset.’ 

‘What are likes?’ 

‘Insecurity tokens’ 

‘Now you’re making no sense, grandfather.’ 

‘I know. Let’s hunt now, so our loved ones can eat and be clothed and swap humorous stories at the camp fire tonight’