I start having obsessive thoughts about how to write a bestseller. Highly unpleasant and shockingly fruitless. Being horny and sexually frustrated SUCKS, but this brain jam sucks only a little bit less.

I get – even more – knowledge hungry, but I enjoy the process of gaining it more. Am also overawed by the vastness of what there is to know, read, watch, etc.

These effects would always be there, but perhaps something else would pop up if I was surrounded by more interesting people. After moving to Slovakia my social life DIED. Slovakia is NOT a place to have a vibrant social life. Unless you just want to get drunk.

So when am not horny I feel better, but it’s like a different sort of torture sets in.

Am left with three modes. Either I crave sex, or knowledge or having a bestseller to my name.

I should also add worrying about my son, the classes I teach and money. So six modes.

There must be a way to break this ridiculous cycle.