I often complain I don’t have any real friends anymore, but the truth is that I push everyone who tries to get close away. It’s not something am planning to change though. It’s likely I will just keep doing it.
In 2014 I lost my best friend. A guy I LOVED. I really fucking loved the guy. In 2014 he ghosted me. I never found out why. Don’t think I ever well. He was such a big part of my life that even my wife misses him.
Hurt people hurt. So I have been ghosting people ever since.
I know it’s stereotypical behavior. Text book behavior.
It is what it is.
What I do realize, is that instead of interacting with the people I love I interact with people I don’t really care about. THAT is something I do want to change.
Better to do something else than to interact with people I don’t even care about. I mean, what’s the point of that?
For the past two years everything always comes back to the same conclusion.
In the end I care about my work and I care about my son. And everything else is like slowly vanishing. As though am becoming a machine.
I would be working right now, but it’s Friday evening and nobody wants to have lessons on a Friday evening.