Chao ban,

As a child I used to watch the series Tour of Duty.

We watched many Vietnam War movies.

I played Paint it black by the Rolling Stones over and over again. And Gimme Shelter. Both songs gave me goose bumps and were inextricably linked to the Vietnam war (and other things).

It’s always been an emotional topic for me. So I have always been a little drawn to the country.

I have the weird reflex to stay away from what I feel attracts me TOO much. That’s how I ended up studying Russian and Slovenian and eventually ended up in Slovakia. My attraction to all that was mild. Just enough to be motivated to get at these languages.

Maybe it’s my fear of losing myself in something and not being in control anymore.

Anyway, Zuzi has been pushing me to go back into therapy for years, but I don’t want to. Slovak therapists can’t help me. It’s a waste of money.

So she changed her tactic to pushing me to try new things.

That’s how I ended up with Vietnamese.

I selected the most attractive teacher I could find and there I went. I mean, if you’re going to learn a language let it be a titillating experience as well.

I finally understand some of the Vietnamese words in the documentaries and movies I watched over and over again.

Am slowly discovering a culture that seems to vibe a bit better with me than Slovak culture or – yikes! – Russian culture…

Is this a ‘smart’ move?

No, it’s just some kind of small hobby.

I can’t see how it could lead to money and yes, you could say it’s a waste of time. But that’s true of many things people do…

I need things to get me out of my obsessive circle of worries, worries, worries.

And I need to do something with my manic energy.

I doubt I will continue with it though.

This is Covid madness ruling over me.

I have to focus on more useful things.