Zuzi has received this today. In Slovak, but here’s the translation:
Basic symptoms of maternity leave:
1. You don’t understand the word ‘Weekend’
2. You don’t care about clothing. You’re just happy you have something clean to wear.
3. You are never alone in the bathroom or the shower (Who says she is now?? Hmm??)
5. You drink cold coffee and not because you like it
6. You constantly talk about shit, constipation, diarrhea, more than your environment needs to hear.
Presently Zuzi talks mostly about the French writer Houellebecq, the rampant narcissicm – am part of her research project – in our culture, inverted totalitarianism, the rigging going on at the Democratic Party, vicarious traumatization, black holes, and how to organize and establish a radically new kindergarten in Bratislava, you know, shit like that.
Sadly she can’t find many people to talk to about this because… they prefer to send her doom scenarios about motherhood.
7. The entire day you are hearing: bac boom ha ta ta ba la ba ba buk tuk ma ga ga ga
Mabye it will be a welcome change, because these days she is constantly hearing the sound of German documentaries, political talk shows, interviews with authors and lectures by sociologists and psychologists.
8. Make-up and high heels have vanished
So? Zuzi never wears any high heels and she uses less than half of the make-up of the average Slovak woman who sends her shit like this.
9. Your best friends are yoga pants and sneakers
I can’t get rid of the impression that until now Zuzi’s best friends are people she can talk to about literature, history, society and human behavior.
10. You are so tired you didn’t notice there is no number 4.
Zuzi is indeed tired. She is tired of hearing ‘funny’ shit like this.
Because she knows what is ultimately behind this stuff.
These people have gone through their pregnancy. To them it’s the biggest accomplishment of their life. They have suffered and they are proud they have suffered. And they want other pregnant women to suffer to. They lacked sleep. They want you to lack sleep. They had it hard and they want you to have it hard. They struggled and they want you to acknowledge they struggled. Cause nobody gave a fuck when they were dealing with this. And now they have a target. Somebody who -hopefully- will go through the same thing and let go of all ambition, all aspirations, all other activities and reduce themselves to the role of mother, tired, covered in vomit, drowning in diapers and alone and ignored. And exhausted. And cut off from anything else in the world.
Well, sorry, it’s just not going to happen.
In case you haven’t noticed, Zuzi has never followed your prescribed stages of life, has never allowed her world to become walled in, and will fortunately, or unfortunately keep talking about Houellebecq, the psychology of raw sex, the demonisation of Iran, documentaries like the ‘Great Hack’, etc, and you sending this shit to her is kinda proof that
maybe you have never really talked to her about anything SHE is passionate about.
Hint:
Some women become mothers AND academics, mothers AND scientists, mothers AND novelists, mothers AND surgeons.
For some people life doesn’t end when they choose to pass it on.
PS
Whenever I write about parenting I will keep using pics of the Cobain family. Not because I will shoot myself or be killed by Zuzi when the baby is two years old, but just because they weren’t…. normal.
And magazines like Vanity Fair wrote about what horrible parents they were.
Cause we kinda feel where all this is heading.
Boost us
If you like our content help us to create more.
$5.00
Proficiat jullie twee! Geen zorgen, jullie gaan dat meer dan goed doen.
En inderdaad, het ouderschap is geen eindpunt van je persoonlijke ontwikkeling. Integendeel, het is een extra dimensie dat zich opent.
Veel sterkte en liefde voor jullie beiden.
grtz
LikeLike
Wow, first of all let me congratulate to both Zuzana and you!!! This is great news! 🙂
As for the topic, having a child is certainly a big change in life but I completely agree that these panicky and doomsday scenarios are very annoying. And the underlying expectations that woman should forget anything about herself once she becomes a mother are absolutely ridiculous.
P.S. Make-up and heels? Lol. I agree. Who cares about that. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mooie comment, merci 🙂 iemand die het snapt 🙂
LikeLike
My dear, your soul is so beautiful you outshine all those dolled up wanna be models any day
LikeLike
I’ve realized I was perhaps too carefree in my comment re make-up and heels. It is true I prefer little or no make-up and flat shoes or short heels at most. But there are many women who like the opposite and that is completely fine as well. The point that provoked me is that someone assumed this is something very important for most women.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was in kid park area some time ago, with my niece. There were moms, a lot moms. Mostly talking to each other about their kids – I would say they didnt really have other topics to talk about. Anyway, one said to other : “my baby was horrible, I almost didnt sleep first 3 months of my life” second woman disagreed: “no my baby was so good, we used to wake up at 8am”. Other females jealously hmmmmed. When this lucky one left, they spoke behind her back she has to be definitely liar, because women dont sleep after giving birth. I just laughed.
My few points:
1. women arent robots, they have right to be tired.
2. is putting makeup and nice dress while being mom a sin?
3. my mom grew 3 kids and she is still here, owning several high heels from that time, our house is still up, we are complete human with all limbs.
4. i wouldnt take seriously scenarios like this. women say it oftent o each other, not because they wanna wish you everything bad, but mostly cus they havent nothing else to say.
5. I noticed they forgot to mention Zuzi gona stop eat, cus she wont have time on it as well.
Wish you guys a lot happy days, to proving or denying those theories.
PS: dont take it seriously, many people around you happy from it and they probably just really want to say something.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree that women should wear whatever they want to wear and the psychology behind what they choose to wear fascinates me very much
LikeLike
some good points!
LikeLike