It’s Wednesday evening.
We are sitting on a bench near a lake in Bratislava.
We are drinking heavy Belgian beer. Am not used to it anymore. I am used to much lighter Slovak and Czech beer.
Am talking to one of the finest human beings I have met in my life. A guy I have come to love and appreciate and whenever I can I help him out with advice on women. Not that am the biggest expert, but hey, being alive to be around wise, tender, intelligent, inquisitive, philosophical women I would say am not an amateur. Women are what I love above everything else. I love them too much to be with just one. The ones who love me understand that.
Much more important than the dating advice is that I try to make my friend see himself through my loving, appreciative eyes. He can be very hard on himself, too hard. We have talked a lot about his childhood so we know where this harshness towards himself is coming from.
The more I talk to people the more I realize how much love I have received in my life. As a child I was truly loved by my parents, I was always validated by all the women in our family. My mother has four sisters. It’s a no brainer why I am so drawn to women. They have always given me so much.
When we are out of beer we go our separate ways.
I need to walk relatively far to get home, so there is no woman present.
Normally the alcohol would be fueled into tenderness, I would give all the energy that is bubbling up to that woman, all that I have received and can never repay I tend to give to a woman I adore. For a song that fits the mood, see below.
But when am alone the alcohol just makes me miss my father incredibly much. So the whole way home I cry and wonder how a person who was so full of life can now be gone. And that no matter how long I live I will never ever have an other conversation with him. The funniest guy I have ever known.
That’s also when I decide for the 2247th time that I should forever quit drinking alcohol.
And that it’s always, always better for my spirit to be drinking her.